8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
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