its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
