3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
