no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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