no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
