god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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