Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
it glows. i had to have it.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
