if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Randomize
