he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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