I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
