no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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