She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
