He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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