Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
