He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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