i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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