It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Drake has all the answers
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
