duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
