So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
