Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
