if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
im having a threesome with these popsicles
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
