went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
