My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
