i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
