Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
