I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
