Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
