we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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