She just used a chaser for red wine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
