Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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