i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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