I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
