I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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