This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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