You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
