Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
