Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
