I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
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