u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
