sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
