Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They have beer where we have blood.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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