Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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