Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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