we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
