Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
