i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
