so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
