Betty ford says i'm here all night
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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