I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You're like the curious george of whores
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
