So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
