no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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